Recipe to “Nail” Financial Appeal to Private Schools

By Quetzal Mama • January 29, 2015

“Every student I coached in 2014

WON their financial appeals!
Quetzal Mama”

This article is about how to write an appealing essay regarding a private school tuition scholarship.

I’m a baker. Most folks don’t know I ran a successful wedding cake business. I know a thing or two about Crème Anglaise, ganache, Swiss meringue and neoclassic buttercreams! Food science appeals to me because it is so precise, logical, and there are no short cuts. What the heck does this have to do with financial aid? Because, as they say – cooking is an art but baking is a science.

Essays for college admission is a bit like cooking. The contents are designed to appeal to emotion, ideals, and potential – a little bit of this and a little bit of that. But, the financial aid arena is a business about numbers, ranges, and precise cut-offs. Therefore, a parent's strategy in writing a financial (scholarship) request is much different than a typical Personal Statement. A financial consideration statement is all about logic and quantifiable facts. In this article, I’ll share four strategies that will increase your odds of landing an award.

The first step is to quantify your need. It’s not enough to say, “We are low-income,” or “We are a single-parent household.” That doesn’t translate, numerically, into anything. You’ll need to quantify this in terms of an historical annual income. How long has the parent been the sole income provider? What is the actual gross and net amount of income each year? If you or your spouse lost a job and was receiving unemployment benefits, did those benefits cease? You also need to spell out that without financial assistance, your child will not be able to attend the school, college, etc. In one paragraph, explain your situation in quantifiable details.

The second step is to consider factors most overlook. Although the Committee will likely have access to your income tax filings, there is other financial information they won’t have. For example, many Latino families provide primary financial support to their extended family in Mexico (and Latin America). This amount should be monetized so that it may be considered. Another factor often overlooked is out-of-pocket expenses for health related expenses – either for the student, the parents, or extended family members. Additionally, consider factors such as a divorce or becoming temporary custodian of family members, whether this is officially “on the books” (filed in court) or not. In the second paragraph, discuss how extenuating factors beyond your W-2 (income) affect your financial situation.

Step three is to appeal to the donor, fund, or endowment. Never forget that we humans like our egos stroked. Including a final paragraph that extends genuine appreciation for those considering this financial “gift” is a smart move. It’s the last sentence the reviewer(s) will read, and it can never hurt your odds. However, a word of caution – emphasis is on the term “genuine.” There’s no need to ingratiate, pander, or elicit sympathy. Just be genuine and real.

The last step is to avoid being ridiculous. Declaring, “My Lexus lease causes me a financial hardship,” or, “My monthly shopping needs at Dolce & Gabanna must be maintained for my business image” is not going to fly.

The Formula

Paragraph I: Quantify your need.

Paragraph II: Add extenuating circumstances

Paragraph III: Thoughtfully appeal to the donor.

Follow these three steps and you’ll ‘nail’ your financial appeal essay. Thank you for liking this article! Learn about my strategic essay writing tips here: